I remember being wheeled out of the hospital with my first baby in my arms thinking, surely they’re not going to let us just leave with him?
After two nights in the hospital with this helpless infant, the idea of keeping him safe felt like a mission of overwhelming magnitude. As it turns out, my fear wasn’t unfounded — the first year following childbirth is statistically the most dangerous period for both the infant and the mother.
And yet, once the baby was out in the world, it seemed to be assumed we were good to go.
No training.
No real check-ins.
No ongoing support.
The mandate appeared to be: keep him alive, and beyond that…do the best you can.
Fourteen years and another kid later, I’m still figuring it out. And real talk: I get it wrong as much as I get it right. Progress isn’t linear. And getting better at the job has required far more work on myself than I ever expected.
Creative professionals often tell me they experience a similar shock when they step into leadership — whether that’s moving up the ranks in-house or becoming the CEO of their own growing business.
Everyone assumes they’ll figure leadership out on the job.
And then the reality sets in.
You’re suddenly responsible for:
- Meeting goals (your own or someone else’s)
- Inspiring and aligning other humans
- Navigating wildly different work styles, motivations, and ways of thinking
- Setting, communicating, and maintaining boundaries (which, let’s be honest, is hard even without power dynamics)
Is it any wonder we’re surprised by how hard it is?
The truth is, most leaders were never actually taught how to:
- Work with people who process information differently than they do
- Set goals that motivate different kinds of brains
- Give feedback that lands as supportive rather than threatening
- Adapt their leadership style in times of rapid change (hello, AI)
And yet, they’re expected to do all of that while delivering results.
Whether you realize it or not, if you’re leading a team, you’re leading a neurodiverse one — a mix of neurotypical and neurodivergent thinkers, with different strengths, speeds, and ways of getting work done.
When we don’t account for that, what shows up isn’t a lack of talent. It’s:
- Frustration
- Misalignment
- Low morale
- Stalled projects that should be working
The good news is that leadership is learnable.
Not through a single framework or a one-size-fits-all playbook, but through awareness, practice, and a willingness to adjust how you lead as much as how others work.