Have you ever felt frustrated or stuck in your career or business, like the quintessential square peg in a round hole, basically not living your #bestlife?
Yeah, me too!
Regardless of how good someone’s life looks from the outside, everyone has doubts, fears, and feels truly stuck from time to time. It’s just a part of the human condition. But here’s the part we forget in the moment (even if we know it intellectually) is it’s not our lack of ability or talent that keep us stuck, it’s our thinking. Let me take a guess at the running commentary you occasionally mistake for the real you:
- I’m stuck
- I don’t fit
- I can’t pick a direction and stick with it
- I should have it figured out by now
- I’m getting older. Shit, I’d better get it together and fast
- I suck
If you’ve ever told yourself any of this rubbish, you’re not alone. You’re really not.
Thankfully, there’s a simple process for getting those thoughts out of your head, processing them, and making a good-sense plan of action you can get on board with.
You up for it? Great, read on…
Step one: Get out of your head
Stop with the inner dialog and get it all out. Grab a pen and paper and list ALL the things that come easily to you now, but you once considered impossible, or just not something a person like you did.
To get your brain going, I’ll share a few of mine:
- Public speaking
- Writing
- Being my own boss (and not having a steady paycheck)
- Meditating
- Running
- Being good with money
- Taking an extended break from my evening glass of wine
Step 2: Process that s*it
The only reason our fears have such enormous power over us is we don’t take time to process them. Taking each of your entries one by one*, journal on the following questions:
- Why did you decide you wanted to overcome that fear?
- What were the positive benefits on the other side of that fear?
- What was at stake if you didn’t take action?
- What was the worst that could have happened in trying and failing?
- What feelings did you have to overcome? (write down what that inner voice said)
- What actions did you take? What support did you ask for and from whom? Did you read books, attend a workshop, hire a coach/therapist/trainer, all of the above?
- What benefits have you experienced as a result of overcoming this fear?
I’d encourage you to go into as much detail as you can and attach as much emotional meaning as possible. Writing is an amazing way to process and release stuck emotions, non-sensical fears, and think through next steps to doing that really big, scary thing.
*I know what you’re thinking “Ain’t nobody got time for that!” Am I right? Listen, I get it, but let me re-frame that. Do you have time to waste another day/week/year on limiting yourself and beating yourself up about it?
Step 3: Pick a new obstacle to crush
What’s the current limiting belief holding you back from living larger and happier? What’s the program, price hike, client-fire you’re putting off doing? Make that your next “thing to overcome” and journal on the following questions:
- Why you want to do this thing. How will it benefit you?
- What’s at risk if you don’t do it?
- Who could support you in this area?
- What actions would you need to take?
- What will be your first step?
How does that feel? Better, right? The great news is you can apply this process to anything holding you back.
What about you? Where are you stuck? Maybe you’re in a place of transition in business or life and don’t know what the next chapter looks like. Perhaps you’re tempted to throw everything out the window and start over, but that doesn’t feel right either? Or maybe you just need support with something very specific. Wherever you are, if you’ve been thinking about getting support and coaching is an option you’d like to explore, I’d love to chat. Click here and let’s start a conversation!
