Hands up if you’ve ever believed your peers are further along/more organized/more successful/generally better than you. 🙋♀️
I’m willing to bet nearly all of you have your hand up. I know I do!
Whether we’re talking about your perception of yourself as an entrepreneur, a creative, a parent, a friend, etc. we all have a tendency to believe everyone else has their act together, while we consistently flounder.
“Don’t compare your insides to someone else’s outside.”
Which is why this time of year, when we’re being told we need to set goals so we can finally get it together and become a “new” (read, better) person, can be so hard on us.
We can mistakenly believe that in order to succeed, we need to overhaul every aspect of our lives, shoehorn ourselves into goals, behaviors, and actions that aren’t authentic to us, aligned with what success looks like for us, or that we’re simply not ready for yet.
It’s what drives us to buy yet another online course, to follow the guru promising the 6-step formula to X-outcome, or succumb to compare and despair.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the focus and intentionality that a goal provides me with. But I’ve found that my most expansive, “successful” years were when my goals were driven by what was particularly meaningful and resonant to me. The times I set goals for what I thought I was “supposed” to achieve, were less satisfying or sustainable.
And so, for this article, I’m going to use the “life map” visual and a few prompts to help orient yourself towards success in YOUR LIFE (not someone else’s version of success for you).
Are you ready?
Using the visual above, reflect on each area in your own life and grade yourself on each section. You may find you feel really strong in love and relationships, but less so in finance. Or you might be on solid financial ground but realize your relationships or community ties don’t feel as strong as you’d like. This is a judgment-free zone. What you learn will give you insights into what areas would be the most meaningful for you to set your goals around.
Because we can’t focus on too many things at once, I recommend you choose 1-2 areas (max) to prioritize in 2022.
Next up, check out the prompts below and write what comes up for you. It doesn’t matter if you’re a seasoned journaler or a complete skeptic, I invite you to give it a try. There’s something about the brain/hand connection that helps us tap into our own wisdom, process, and define the next step.
- What would progress in my chosen areas look like?
- What would making progress in those areas look like? (get specific)
- What would making progress in these areas mean to me and my family?
- What current thoughts, habits, or behaviors are keeping me from making progress?
- What thoughts, habits, or behaviors would I need to cultivate to make progress?
- What support do I need?
- Who or what could help me?
I’d love to hear from you. Do you have a goal-setting or planning process? If you’re still figuring out what works for you, I’d love to hear about that too. Drop a comment below!